Music is such a huge part of a wedding. It can say a lot about the bride and groom, and it can make a huge impact on whether your guests have fun or not.

I’ve been a DJ for over 10 years and I’ve been a music lover for far longer. Music has a way of instilling emotion into a person. It takes them on a ride and can bring a crowd running to the dance floor, or leave them misty in their chairs. So choosing music for your wedding can be a daunting task. Luckily I’ve given some advice to help get you on your way.

At different times through out the wedding and reception the music won’t be the main entertainment. Whether it’s during the cocktail hour or while guests are sitting down to dinner you’ll need to set the mood with some great music. Of course all of this will depend on your personal tastes, but your DJ will be able to assist in picking the perfect mix of the genres you select.

pre-ceremony
The pre-ceremony music is usually very relaxed and light. Nothing with to much bass or too fast a tempo. The idea is to keep your guests in a calm mood.

classical (strings are usually better than piano here)
covers done by a string quartet (some great stuff here)
love songs (can stretch across genres but most will be slower/calming)

Cocktail hour/Dinner
For the cocktail hour and dinner you have a lot of room to play with. You can mix in different tempos and themes and it won’t throw off the crowd much. Stay away from heavy bass or long quite intros and you should be set. There are some genres that work better than others.

jazz (a mixture of true Jazz like Miles Davis and some Sinatra style standards)
classic rock
contemporary jazz (Norah Jones, Michael Buble, Diana Krall)
Adult Contemporary (again stay away from big bass or extremely fast tempo)

Cake cutting
This is not a place that you sit back for an hour and let music play but a few well chosen songs are nice here. You can get creative here is you like.

Motown (Sugar Sugar, Chapel of love, build me up buttercup, How sweet it is)
Rock (pour some sugar on me, sweet emotion)
Disco (cut the cake)
Love songs

There are a number of special dances that you can choose to do at your wedding and reception. Your personal likes will play the biggest part for these songs.

Processional
If you’re not going with the traditional then something like “Only Time” – Enya is great. You can always go extreme and have the Bridal party dance their way down the isle. If that’s not your style then just make sure it’s a song you can walk to, and isn’t too fast of a beat.

Recessional
I like to have fun with a recessional. It can set the tone for the rest of the night. Songs like James Brown – “I feel good” or U2 – “Beautiful Day” are a lot of fun

Grand Entrance
This is another place that you can have a lot of fun with. “let’s get it started” – Black Eyed Peas, “Sexy Back” – Justin Timberlake, or going old school with “Celebration” – Kool and the gang are fun upbeat songs you can use. Alternatively you can keep it classy (L.O.V.E – Nat King Cole) or corky (Slow motion running while “Chariots of Fire” plays). You can use your imagination and just have fun.

First Dance
Most first dances are slower songs that you can sway back and forth to. If this is your style then pick a song you really enjoy or one that has special meaning for the two of you. For the more adventurous couples you may try ball room dances or even start with a slow dance and switch it up half way through to a fast and fun song. You can find a lot of video on YouTube showing just that.

Father Daughter Dance
This falls in line with the first dance. Just think of a song that works for you and your dad. The one addition that I add here is, If you are looking to cut the time down for these dances you can combine the father/daughter and mother/son dance. Usually this is done by starting with just he bride and her father and about 30 seconds in the Groom will invite his mother on to the floor. You can take it one step further and 30 seconds after that invite everyone onto the floor, starting off open dancing.

Mother Son Dance
Same as for the Father/Daughter dance, but if you give the bride’d dad a full song then give the groom’s mom a full song too. If you let your DJ know ahead of time you can always have these songs cut short, so don’t worry if you picked a song that’s 6 minutes long.

Bridal party dance
In resent years fewer brides are having a bridal party dance. Most are have a few songs that they know the bridesmaids will dance to, and want the DJ to dedicate it to them at some point in the night. If you are doing a bridal party dance then songs like “Lean on Me” are great. You can keep it just the bridal party or you can let them bring their sposes and segnificant others out too. The DJ will normally let the other guests come out on the floor half way into the song, so it’s a great way to start open dancing.

Anniversary Dance
The anniversary dance gives you an opportunity to recognize the people that have been married the longest. There are two ways that this can work. The first starts with all of the married couples on the floor. You start asking the couples to leave if they have been married a day or less, then a year, and so on until there’s only one couple left. The second way has you start with the bride and groom on the floor then ask for people to join in on the dance floor if they’ve been married for a year or less, then two years then five years, and so on. The second way is great if you have elderly couples that can’t dance for very long, or if you know who the winning couple will be and they can’t dance at all. In this case you can have the DJ announce who they are at the end of the dance. Good songs for this are “Unforgettable” – Nat King Cole, or “Unchained Melody” – The Righteous Brothers. If you know the oldest couple and what their first dance was then using that can be extremely special to them.

Money Dance
The money dance is also not done as often as it used to be. If you have a lot of people at your wedding and won’t have time to go around and talk to everyone then use this dance to let them come to you. The DJ will direct your guests on what to do during this dance. They’ll also keep the people moving through the line. If you have 300 guests and they all want to dance with you, then the DJ will only allow about 10 seconds per guest so the crowd doesn’t get bored and so people in line don’t wait too long. Frank Sinatra style jazz works great here. Songs like “The way you Look Tonight” are perfect here. You may want to through in some slower songs too, but nothing that is too fast. The DJ should have a good play list for this, so either have them play what they want or give them suggestions of what you like.

The DJ will most likely have their own spin on any or all of these dance. Whether it’s roses given to the longest couple, or adding a voice over of your vows to the first dance, listen to the advice they give you. They have seen a lot of weddings and can be a great resource for you.

This is where the fun can begin. You know what you like to dance to and the DJ will want as many suggestions as he can get so he has a starting point for feeling out the crowd. Every crowd is different and some will dance to anything. Other crowds have to be pulled kicking and screaming in order to break the ice. Depending on which one you have will determine how hard your DJ will work to fill that dance floor.

Most weddings will have a wide rang of ages so it’s important to cater to all of them. I like to start the night of by playing some of the older well known songs that everyone can enjoy. This can include some disco, classic rock, Motown, and a few hits from the 50s through 90s. As the night progresses and the older crowd retires to the back of the room I start mixing in the newer music that the younger crowd will go crazy for. This is not perfect for every crowd so I find that I adapt and change throughout every event to find whats right for that crowd. This is why its important for brides and grooms to give there input prior to the reception.

DJs also have group dances at their disposal. Things like the cha cha slide and the cupid shuffle are a easy way to load up the dance floor. Make sure you let the DJ know if you don’t want a specific dance at your wedding. If you hate the chicken dance then put it on the do not play list. Your DJ should already be asking these questions. If they don’t then do the proactive thing and tell them.

As a DJ I welcome any suggestions or requests for your wedding. I wouldn’t enjoy being a DJ as much if every event was the same so working closely with a bride and groom to make theirs unique is part of what allows me to have fun too. I can only imagine other DJs feel the same, so don’t hold back your letting us know exactly what you want for your big day.

If you’re in the Phoenix area and looking for a Phoenix DJ for your next event please keep Black Tie DJ PHX in mind.

Thanks for reading.